Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
