Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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