Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
