ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
