Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
