not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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