..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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