what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
