maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
