turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Warsđ
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You know itâs going to be a rough day when you scream âGet fuckedâ at your alarm clock
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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