I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
