i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I need a burrito and a hug.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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