Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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