I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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