are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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