That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
