then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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