she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
