using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
