he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize