if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
