He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
as a side note pls kill me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
