i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you would pick up someone in the library
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
