All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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