What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
