Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
