We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
