A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
