She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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