I cut my penus on the lid.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
