I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
