id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
