Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
