Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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