Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
