me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
