Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
