Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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