I want to stick my p in your. b.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
