I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
