Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
