she was so not down for the gang bang
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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