Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
