I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
