I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
