the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
