maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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