This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
