it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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