you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
