the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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