if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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